air hostess, I dislike the way you dress

Gold plated buttons.
Polyester.
Crackling, sheer blue tights.

Maybe Scooch made more of an impression on me than I’d realised, but seeing the air stewardesses on a recent flight I felt like I’d stumbled into a fancy dress disco or euro pop video.



They totter around in stilettos, when every forward thinking woman is wearing wedge heels (or flats, if there’s any chance of having to deal with turbulence or fend off a terrorist attack).

And if you thought that pencil skirts and suit jackets were impractical, check out the current uniform at Sahara Airlines; it might be useful if you crash landed in the desert, but only once you’ve manage to untangle the metres of fabric from the wreckage.

Overdressed flight attendants look absurd in comparison to the juicy coutured hen parties, denim clad over sixties, and multi-coloured clans of children they tend to.

Of course uniforms serve their purpose. In the in-flight environment, the trapped and sometimes angry or scared crowds need to be reassured and guided by visible authority figures. I don’t want to look up through my oxygen mask for help at a team kitted out by Urban Outfitters. However current air steward uniforms are a relic of the era when ‘trolley dollies’ were dressed to be sexually attractive to their male passengers, not looked to for leadership and guidance.

Other professions seem to manage a balance between environmental practicality and maintaining their authority and professionalism: lifeguards for example, or the fire services.

Easyjet have made steps toward a more practical uniform, unfortunately their slavish dedication to their orange colour scheme has rendered the result rather unappealing. The new Scandinavian airline clobber is a bit better, but again practicality is at the unnecessary expense of any concession to style.

Stella McCartney needs to get on the case, and save flight attendants from the sartorial nightmare they are living in.

kate s-b